I'll just come right out and say it. Yesterday was a really sh*tty day. I spent the entire evening sitting around the house, barely able to think and feeling numb.
So often when I think about my dad, I feel anger and sadness and regret that he died so young and that my kids never got to know him or that he never got to see them grow up. But today, leaving the memory care home after visiting my mom, I was thinking about how awful it would have been for my dad to see her now. My brother and I showed Mom photos of her and Dad from when they were teenagers and so fresh and in love and looking ahead toward their futures. I'm sure this is not the type of future that anyone sees for themselves. I wish life were more like the movies where aging is so often simple and sweet and sometimes comical. Reality is hard. It's messy. Sometimes it's funny, but sometimes you have to try really really hard to see the funny.
We're all okay. Nothing drastic or dreadful happened. It's all part of the process. It's where we are at this time.
